A moment of Sainthood

We have all grown up hearing and learning about saints.  Many of us are named after a saint also.  Growing up I have read about a lot of saints and learned a lot about their lives through my teachers and parents.  I have always wondered what  it takes to become a saint.  When I peeked into the lives of the saints, I understood that most of them lived very simple and ordinary lives.  But what they did with their simple and ordinary lives is the key to how they became a saint.  I am sure there are many more saints who lived on this earth who have not yet been recognized by the church.

So how can we live in this 21st century with all its crazy technology and other cool discoveries and still give a try to becoming a saint?  Is it even possible?  Well, I would like to share with you all some simple observations I have found to help us, maybe get close enough to becoming a saint.  The rest is up in Gods' hands.

I call it: Moments of Sainthood.

Scenario 1: The day was extremely hard because you had a crying baby, a notorious toddler, and a whiny 6 year old creating chaos and huge mess all around the house while husband is out of town for the weekend.  But you got through it all with grace and much patience, you were able to do that because deep inside you were dreaming about 9pm that night, when all your kids would be in bed asleep, when you can make yourself some tea/coffee and grab your favorite snack and catch your favorite TV show or a movie, or read a book, clean, cook, just rest etc.  After all the hard work throughout the day, by 9pm you have two in bed and you know that the baby will sleep soon too because she did not even get a proper nap.  But 9:30 passes by, its 10:30 now and you are still rocking around your 18 month old!  Your back is hurting, you are at the verge of anger and depression because everything you had planned for that night looks like it's never going to happen.  Finally at 11pm baby falls asleep.  Along with the baby,  there you are, in bed, exhausted, tired, depressed and angry.  It is just so hard to understand the whole meaning of your life as a mother at that moment.  Why can't I even get an hour to myself?  I gave everything I had to them the whole day today and still here I am at 11pm completely exhausted.  That is a moment of Sainthood. What you do in that situation is very important, to grasp that moment of sainthood for yourself.  You can hate your husband at that time who left you alone with the kids, you can blame the kids themselves, you can blame yourself for being such a horrible mother.  Or you can embrace that moment.  Lord is right there with you.  He is giving this small suffering to you.  Its up to you to willingly take it with joy or throw it away with anger and frustration.

 Scenario 2: It is with much difficulty that you pulled through homeschooling and cooking that day, only waiting for your husband to be home that evening and to bury yourself in his love and empathy and support.  That evening husband calls saying that there is an emergency at the apartment he owns and won't be back home until much later.  Your heart literally breaks.  The strength you held on to all that time is  shattered.  Here is a moment of Sainthood the Lord is allowing.  What do you do?  You can become furious, take that irritation upon your children,  and wait for that moment for your husband to get home so that you could spew out your anger and hate upon him. You could raise your voice and yell and scream in an attempt to make him understand what you went through that day.  Or you could take a deep breath and get the kids ready for dinner, spend some time reading to them or play with them, even though you don't feel like doing any of it.  You could open the door for your husband when he comes in and greet him with a smile on your face.  After a loving hug or kiss, you could share in a gentle voice that you had a pretty hectic day and invite him happily for the dinner your prepared.  This is sainthood.  You just willingly accepted that cross Jesus was putting before you and you embraced it with love.

Scenario 3: You are hoping for a goodnight's sleep as you go to bed around 12am after finishing up all your chores. You especially prayed to God that the children all sleep well and to keep the youngest 2 year old sleeping throughout the night. You wake up at 1pm hearing the screaming of your two year old.  Looks like she had a bad dream or something because she is kicking and screaming at the same time.  You quickly grab her and walk around the room hoping for her to fall asleep.  This should be quick. She normally wakes up in the night and goes back to sleep pretty quickly.  Oh..how you wish that was the case. She not only didn't go back to sleep but came back fully alive being so playful.  What do you do?  Tried putting her to sleep, sang many songs, it is 3am and here you are so tired and sleepy.  You look at your husband, and there he is sleeping oh so peacefully.  But you don't want to wake him up because he has to go to work early in the morning.  Still there is anger and jealousy building up in your heart because as a sleep deprived mom, you truly want your super hero husband to just wake up and take care of the child. And you know that is not going to happen (partly because you realize that he didn't even know that the baby was crying in the first place)! Plus its not like the baby is just going to go with him happily because, obviously, she needs the mom.  Here is a moment of Sainthood.  What can you do?  You could just be pissed off at the child, slam the door behind as you walk out with the baby to make your husband aware of what is happening, be irritated with the child who is awake or you could accept the fact that you are not going to get your sleep for tonight, so might as well take the opportunity to wake up and hang out with the child, go watch Barney with her or do something until she is tired again.  In fact that night the baby went to bed only at 5am.  You could be at peace that you handled the situation well and more so than that you just received this cup of purification from our Lord and handled it so well. That was the moment of sainthood.

Scenario 4: One day your friend shows up and starts yelling at you for nothing you really did but in her eyes you have offended her through whatever you did.  Here is a moment of Sainthood again.  You could get back at her with your arguments and excuses in the same way she is speaking to you or you could just see it as a great moment to accept the saintly opportunity and just calm down and stay quiet until she is done.  When your friend has finally finished with all her griping, speak to her with compassion and love and explain yourself if only the situation calls for it.  There you have taken Sainthood to another level.

             


Scenario 5: Your parents, who are in their old age, are expecting you to help them with filling out applications, call the insurance company, or even take them to the doctors office.  When you are in the middle of homeschooling and dealing with all the other good stuff that comes with it, it is not so easy to do these things for your parents.  So you finally find time and do it all well and nice for them.  But even after all that is done and taken care, here you dad comes up with all these questions which kind of make you look like you don't know a thing.  There you got another moment of sainthood.  You could either ignore your poor parent, say something harsh back to them so they don't ask such questions anymore, or you could explain it all with a lot of humility and make them feel comfortable.  After all, they are the ones who spent all those sleepless nights carrying you around, loving you patiently.  To remember these good old days with your parents and love them unconditionally is an opportunity the Lord is putting before you.  Whether you take it or not is up to you.




Scenario 6: At work, you finished all your work for the day and you are getting ready to run back home. As you are about to leave, your coworker seeks your help in understanding something he can't figure out on his own.  Your choices are turn him down saying you are busy and will help the next day or leave  your bag down and go help him.  When you help that poor man/woman by putting away your needs, you are truly helping Jesus.  There you just grasped that moment of sainthood.

Scenario 7: You are rushing out of church with all your kids who gave you such a hard time during Mass.  All you want is just get back home. As you walk out you can see an old lady whom you know is waiting for someone to give her a ride.  You want to avoid eye contact at any cost.  You put your head down and look the other way and try to walk out.  However, you are reminded of charity and kindness at that moment.  You could still push those good thoughts away and think of the hardships you are facing.  You know that the lady knows you well and would rather get a ride with you than someone else at church.  Well, there is your sainthood moment.  Would you rather walk up to her with full joy and ask her whether she needs a ride or walk away letting go of the wonderful opportunity?  Yes, your kids are whining, and the little one is on your waist crying.  But what good it is to love and help others when the moment is perfect.  Sainthood happens when you do it even when times are bad for you.  God actually does miracles when you embrace these moments. The crying child becomes so happy as she sees there is one more person coming along with her in the car.  The whining children forget what they were whining about because all of a sudden they are distracted by the new person who is coming with them.  After all, isn't that a valuable lesson that you can teach your children about helping others.  A moment of sainthood....

Scenario 8: Your mother in law walks into the house and you are expecting her to ask you how you are doing or how the kids are.  But the first thing that comes out of her mouth is, "Make Some TEA!!!"  Those words are not music to your ears.  You would have happily made that tea but the tone in her voice changed everything.  There, God is bringing the sainthood so near to you in that moment.  Embrace it or do it with anger and frustration.  You put a smile on your face and give her a hug and welcome her into the house.  You help them get seated in your living room couch comfortably, let your husband hang out with them, and you go to the kitchen and make a nice cup of tea with love filled in it and offer it to your in-laws happily. Go get some snacks and offer it.  Tell them to wait and have lunch or dinner and go.  Hey, there you have already become a saint in that moment.  Wont you try it??

Scenario 9:  It is a free day that you have in your hand.  There are clothes to be washed/folded, rooms to be cleaned, dishes to be washed, dinner to be made or  homework to be finished.  But laziness is forcing you to sit back and relax.  All those pending TV shows come to your mind, or checking out social media or sleep. Would you fall into these temptations or  you can relax and do these things after you are done with your chores by being responsible.  Our sainthood happens when we are accountable to God by fulfilling the responsibilities he has given to us.

 

I have plenty more instances to share but I shall stop here.  I have not fully achieved any of this yet.  But I am a work in progress and I might be in that stage till I die.  You might be too and that's okay.  You tried!  Jesus saw that.  He was right next to you.  He was preparing you all that time to reach heaven to be with him one day.  Its never too late to try it.  If we can offer up these sufferings to God to use it for the good of someone else, how wonderfully are we participating in the work of the Lord.

We may not get to be a martyr or go through big sufferings, but to reach heaven our ordinary lives are enough.  That's what the examples of the saints lives teach us.  So are we ready to accept these moments of Sainthood our Lord is putting before us?

9 years of Marriage, a fairy tale God has already written.

We have been married for 9 years!! Although it has been 9 years, we still feel like we got married just few weeks ago.  Do we still love each other like we did 9 years ago? NO.  We just learned that our love 9 years ago was nothing compared to the love we have for each other now.  Back then we thought we knew the other so well.  But truth is that we did not.  In fact we didn't have a clue about who the other person was even though we knew each other for almost 5 years before we got married.

Nine years later with 4 children, one left early to heaven being just three months old in my womb, I look back and I only see the divine hands, the third person in our marriage, God who helped us get here through the sacrament of marriage.  Marriage is truly a sacrament and if we take the sacredness out of marriage, it really does not work.

Celebrating our 9th wedding anniversay

The movie War Room is a great movie for married couples to watch.  It really shows you the power of prayer in marriage and how things can turn around when you have Jesus by your side.  I just love this picture below but more than the picture the words bring such meaning.  We  live in a time where we are really trying to just get rid of things if it does not work or if we don't want them anymore.  I do that with several things at my house.  If it is not of use why keep it.  But marriage is not just a thing.  It is a life, a covenant I chose to live and practice alongside my husband in good and bad times.  So when bad times come, does it mean I can throw away my husband or wife and children.  NO!!

So we better pick ourselves up and fix things.  We may not be able to fix our spouse all the time, but I can fix me.  Sometimes the possibilities of disagreement seem endless. A cause of enjoyment of one may be boring or even unpleasant for the other. This is part of the deep drama of marriage, the constant call to die to yourself for the sake of your loved one.

I remember, I used to hate watching Basketball games or football with Sony whereas it was a huge part of his life.  He found such enjoyment in it.  He was a big movie fan and I really did not care about movies much.  I slowly found out by adopting a loving attitude, I can discover in previously boring things, the fascination that others find in them.  The first year of our marriage, I watched all the star wars movies, all three Lord of the rings and several other favorites of Sony. And today if I take a look at myself, I adore these great classic movies and have learned a lot many good points from it.  In fact, the very rare chances of alone time we get, we always try to catch a movie in our basement while the kids are asleep.  It is a hobby that brings both of us closer to each other.

Our first dance

We do need common interests like the movies to bring us closer to one another.  Otherwise, after few years life might seem very boring and monotonous.  We both love travelling during breaks.  We pack up our kids and go for many events around the country as well as for vacations.  All those car rides and long hours gives us plenty of time to spend with our kids and with each other.  Lot of conversations about many topics takes place during this time which we have been dying to share and discuss.

Our honeymoon - In Rome

Honeymoon

One of the most key part of marital relationship is communication.  There must be ample amount of talking between both husband and wife.  Ideas must be shared and discussed, sometimes even argument is good as long as we can always end in good spirit.  Sometimes the conversation might not end so well and both party may not be willing to settle down which is okay.  Just try not to prolong it for more than a day.

One small advice for my fellow ladies, "A nagging wife will often use methods of shame, blame, criticism and guilt to get her way, and as a result men build walls of protection around them. We don’t mean to do it, but when feelings get hurt or when we feel neglected we tend to act out. Unfortunately nagging can become a habit for some. After a while, the methods of communication that once worked stop working, and the couple is left void. If you want your husband to trust you with his heart as he once did, it’s important to practice self-control, hold your tongue, and replace criticism with kindness. Listen when he talks and make an effort to show him respect." (Good wifes guide)

When a wife doesn’t give her husband the freedom to be himself, when she constantly pushes and nettles him to change, it can cause the destruction of a happy marriage. (Fascinating Womanhood)

Talking about feelings is not a popular pastime in the male culture, so to be polite, don’t ask about them, but continue to share yours. Generally, men talk far less each day than women, so don’t expect your husband to want to talk as much as you. The truth is, the less you communicate your complaints, negative thoughts, and criticisms to your husband, the better your intimacy will be, and the stronger your marriage. Withholding information from your husband may feel dishonest, but it’s really being mature and polite. Men have a culture all their own and being a diplomat in it will improve domestic relations dramatically. (Surrendered wife)

The above writings just sounded so funny to me because I have done all that in my marriage lol..  I think for the first 5 years of my marriage I did just that..nagging!! hahaha... I remember my husband being so quiet and reserved refraining from talking to me.  And I learned it the hard way.  After all these 9 years I think I have gotten a little better at self control.  I am still not there 100% but work in progress.  

Being married for 9 years have taught me that, we need a lot of forgiveness, compassion, sacrifices, and a big trust in God to be able to lead a happy married life.  There were a lot of times I feared that my marriage could end up in a divorce or we would be married but live as two individuals who don't have any relations or love with the other.  But by fully relying on God and surrendering myself and my marriage into His hands, by going to daily mass, frequent confession, family rosaries, accepting my mistakes and correcting myself, seeking help from strong catholic women and men, sharing with older couples who have done it, spiritual reading and depending on a strong catholic community, we passed that hard, difficult stage in marriage.  We now experience such a deep love in our marriage which we did not have in the first years of our marriage.  Sony, who refrained from talking to me started having open conversations with me because he did not have to worry about me criticizing him. He started trusting me more. He began paying attention to my small interests and needs in such genuine ways which helped me to fall in love with him all over again.  It wasn't any more the petty issues we focused on in marriage  but we started giving more importance to helping the other person grow in maturity and closer to God.  All this was possible because we allowed God to work in us.  It doesn't mean that our marriage is perfect.  It only means that we are working hard side by side with the Holy Trinity to bring happiness into our marriage. 

Marriage is truly a fairy tale if you can make it that way.  I know it is possible because I am experiencing it.  After passion there is always resurrection.  I went through my passion and now I am experiencing the resurrection only by the grace of God.  So here I conclude my post about marriage with the assurance that, if you are struggling in your marriage, or you are at a dead end in your marriage, don't lose hope.  The lord who brought you both together has already written your fairy tale.  You just need to rely on his plan and accept the sufferings He allows in your life as a great opportunity, because what awaits you after this period of Passion is Resurrection.  Trust in Him and he will give you the strength and courage you need to get past it.  Remember the key is:

“Happiness in marriage must be earned. It is something you must work out for yourself, chiefly by forgetting yourself and serving others. No marriage is a success unless less you make it so, and that takes persistent effort and, still more, a constant and humble reliance on God.” – Fr. Lawrence G. 

First Picnic of 2018

The weather in Chicago has been very beautiful since beginning of May this year.  Usually we have to wait till end of May or beginning of June to get some warmth.  So we decided to make good use of it and few weeks ago headed out to the backyard with these three munchkins to have a picnic.  Now that Mary is 2 years old, she is able to be a part of everything much more than last year.  I don't have to worry about her eating the grass or falling down like she did when she was barely walking. We are thoroughly enjoying this warm sunshine with Mary's new personalities getting revealed each day.  She is a handful. She is lot of fun but at the same time she is capable of doing a lot of things which we normally dont expect from a 2 year old.   

We have this really big play place and she can get around the whole thing all by herself. The day when she first got on it I helped her out and walked along side her.  I thought I would have to do that for at least  few days until she gets used to the steps and hanging bridge.  Well, she surprised me.  That was the only day I had to go with her.  The rest she did it all on her own.  And her siblings is always helping and watching out for her. So that's a big help.  We all love her so much. 

My George - 7 years old

George turned 7 years old on October 15th.  Time flies.  They do grow up so fast.  I cant believe he is already 7.  He has always been my baby.  Being my first baby, I have cherished every moment I spent with him.  Yes, he drives me insane most of the times, but yet his charming smile, and the love he pours out on me, makes me want to be with him all the time.  My Georgu...you make my motherhood journey incredibly fun and exciting.  He is in 1st grade this year. Can you believe that???  To me, I feel like he is still in preschool..haha  I am sure all mothers feel this way about their children.  It doesn't matter how old they are, they will always be our babies.  

This kid, he loves helping me.  He will be always around to do small things for me here and there.  Sometimes, certain chores are not his favorite, but if it is to help with cooking, he is always ready. Since Lent began, he has been waking up early morning before I wake up, and he goes and cleans up the living room, school room, unloads the dishwasher (all the plastic bowls and the nonbreakable dishes) and sets up the plates on the kitchen table for breakfast.  After he is done with all this, he will come and wake me up and takes me around the house and shows me all that he did.  Awww....this boy, he sometimes just makes my heart melt.   I don't know how he can do that.  Yes, he wants to fill up the sacrifice bean jar with all these good deeds, but I still don't understand how he can do that everyday for me.  And this makes my life a whole lot easier because now I don't have to clean up the living room or school room.  I can only thank the Lord for the good heart He gave my boy. 

My sunshine..that smile!!!

My handsome little boy

These three can play together forever.  George and Anna are constantly playing.  They are almost three years apart but still they both play like they are the same age haha... One of the charisms of George is that, he can entertain any age group kid.  If it is a baby, he will play with the baby.  If its a preschooler, he will try to entertain them and with his own age group kids, he plays totally different.  It is a gift. 

He loves feast day celebrations and making funny faces..lol  He loves playing silly games and running around and being crazy.  There are times when I don't like so much energy, but what can I do.  God made him that way and I just have to go with the flow.  He is so loud, that my ears hurt lol

He loves to take care of Mary.  He always says to me how much he loves babies and he loves taking care of them.  

 For his 7th birthday, he had requested for a Batman themed cake.  I somehow managed to make one.  As you can see in the picture, he couldnt contain his joy and excitement seeing the cake lol 

I found a batman backpack on clearance at Target and bought it for him.  He absolutely loved it.  He knows how to have fun.  I sometimes wish I could be like him.  Just so free and happy.

 He has been a part of the homeschooling group Blueknights.  We go once a month to attend Blue Knights.  It is a great time spend with boys learning about saints and doing different activities.

Holding my nephew

He loves coloring and drawing. I still remember when he was around 4 years old, he hated coloring.  He hated sitting down and doing anything.  I used to worry so much whether he would ever be willing to color. A year later, he started coloring, drawing and painting so beautifully.  Since then he always enjoys anything to do with Art.  Sometimes I just give him some paint and ask him to paint anything that comes to his mind.  Few weeks ago, he painted this picture below and he described it as him watering the plants with his dad last summer.  So last summer, since Sony was home during the summer vacation, him and George would wake up early morning and used to go water the plants.  This was a great experience for him.  I was so surprised how even the littlest things you do at home with parents can bring great and cherishing memories for children. 

For him it was always hard to sit still and pray during morning prayer and family rosary time in the evening.  But this year he has overcome that struggle and he sits and says all the prayers with us.  In fact, he wears his rosary around his neck all the time, which he got during his kindergarten CCD class last year.  Every night before he goes to bed, he will remove it and puts it on the shelf.  And every morning, without forgetting, he will put it back on the neck.  He tells me that when the rosary is around his neck, it helps him to be good. I am just so blessed to be his mother.  I had so much difficulty in the early years just disciplining him and helping him understand what is right and wrong.  I am just so proud of him especially when I see how far he has come from being so fidgety and hyper, struggling to sit still and do things quietly.  

I try to do school at least 4 days a week.  George likes school but he lovesssss playing..haha  So it is always hard for me to get him to just sit down and do his work.  He really tries hard.  He loves his school work, but he always gets tired when he has to do school for more than  half an hr.  I do have to give him small breaks in between but other than that he is very good.  He finishes most of his school work and now that he can read, once I teach him the lesson, he can work on his homework by himself.  I still have to keep telling him to focus but he does a pretty good job with a little push. 

We recently enrolled him in a basket ball class.  He has been asking us for over a year to send him to basket ball class. Finally I was able to get him into this class at the park district.  He loves it.  I still remember how he used to hate leaving me and going anywhere.  And here he is, totally loving being on his own and enjoying the time with his friends.  I am just so glad that I am finally seeing some detachment haha

I hope one day George can read this post and know what a blessed boy he was. I wonder what all God  has in store for this little drummer boy of mine.  I can't wait to journey along with his child and see the many beautiful ways in which God uses him.  I pray that he will follow Christ and choose the holy path always.  Love you my Georgy boy.